Emptying the Nest--All Over Again

I remember the first phase of our first empty nest. August 2001--we flew to Virginia and spent two hurried days shopping for Megan's first dorm at Mary Washington College. I couldn't help but feel immense pride at this brave child of mine--going to college, far from home, far from family, far from friends. She had been a shy, introverted young girl but somehow she had grown up able to face the world head-on. What more could a parent dream for their child?

Fast forward to summer 2005--I sat with Megan as she watched our friends move her belongings out of her very first "grown up" apartment. She loved her quirky apartment in "the avenues." But she realized that it would be a long while (if ever)before she would be able to manage on her own. She grieved for everything she had already lost in her young adult life--her apartment, her job, her future children. Cancer robs everyone of something; it seemed to take more than its fair share from her. I wasn't sure she would survive long enough to grasp the enormity of it all. My dreams for her were more immediate--just survive...

And now--2007. The movers arrived in the morning snow storm. But none of us cared about the weather. She was so ready!

Getting to move into her own place again is such a big step. I wasn't sure the day would ever arrive. She feels strong and is able to work almost full time. She has days that are bad, but most of her days are good, or at least manageable. But I'm the mom and the worry is always there. Will she eat? Will she keep the place clean enough? Will she take her meds? Will she get rest?

Her bedroom is nearly empty. The rest of the house is dotted with pieces of her leaving. But my heart is still full of love. And my dream for her today is the same as it has always been--be happy.